Becoming Your Highest Self (By Learning to BE, Not Do)

Every day, women come to me with questions like:

“How can I change my life?”“What’s the first step toward becoming my best self?”“How do I get out of this funk where I feel so stuck?”

And I get it — when we’re in the middle of struggle, we want quick, easy, step-by-step answers. A checklist we can follow. A magic routine that takes us from stuck to thriving overnight.

We want to know what to do.

But here’s the truth: you don’t need to do anything. You need to be.

The Power of Being

Transformation isn’t about Pinterest-worthy morning routines or checking off boxes. It’s not about copying someone else’s lifestyle and hoping it works for you.

It’s about learning how to be your highest self — the version of you that feels most authentic, most free, most alive.

The inner work is about remembering who you are, uncovering the truths written on your heart, and noticing where you’ve been holding yourself back. It’s about giving yourself permission to grow, to be imperfect, to let go of the masks and step into your own story.

Why Self-Connection Matters

Connecting with your highest self is the foundation for real transformation. Without it, every goal will feel hollow. With it, every step you take will feel aligned.

Here’s what happens when you connect inward: Clarity

When you know your true, unapologetic, natural self, you gain clarity of purpose. Your goals stop being about what you should want and start reflecting what you actually desire.

Clarity means setting goals that fuel you — goals that feel like yours. Remember: following someone else’s routine won’t change your life unless it resonates with you. YOU are your compass.

Confidence

Self-discovery breeds confidence. When you know yourself deeply and intimately, you trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way. You stop waiting for permission to start and instead lean on your own resilience.

Confidence is knowing: “I can hold myself through challenge. I can expand my comfort zone. I can begin.”

Freedom

Doing the inner work leads to personal freedom — freedom from limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, comparison, fear, shame, and the old stories you’ve been telling yourself.

When you know yourself, you are free to be yourself.

How To Connect With Your Highest Self

This isn’t about perfection — it’s about practice.

Journal

I started journaling when I was 11. Middle school was tough (hello, bowl cut + braces). I often felt isolated, but my journal was the one place I could turn to. It became my safe space, my constant companion.

Looking back, I know I was right to nurture that relationship with myself. I wasn’t alone — I had me.

As an adult, journaling remains one of my most powerful tools. It’s how I process emotions, release what no longer serves me, and empower myself with new beliefs. It’s also where I practice gratitude and manifest the life I’m calling in.

Think of journaling as creating a map toward your highest self. Each word on the page is a step closer.

Know Yourself (Deeply)

And I don’t mean just knowing your favorite color or your Enneagram type. I mean really studying yourself like you’d study for an exam.

Who are you beneath the stories, the fears, the limiting beliefs?

For me, this has looked like working with coaches, diving into therapy, exploring breathwork, meditation, and other practices that peeled back layers of who I thought I was supposed to be.

The more I got curious, the more I met the real me. She wasn’t perfect. She wasn’t always disciplined. But she was authentic — and she had been waiting for me all along.

That’s your highest self. And she’s waiting for you too.

Final Reminder

You don’t need to do more to transform your life. You need to come home to yourself.

Listen. Nurture. Get curious. Let yourself be.

Because when you connect with your highest self, clarity, confidence, and freedom naturally follow. And from there, every dream you hold in your heart becomes possible.